EL PASEO CHILDREN'S CENTER LEARNING DISABILITY TESTING LA QUINTA, CA

Q: My 12-year-old son was recently evaluated and diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. He struggles socially; isolates himself from other kids and sometimes gets bullied at school.  How can I help him?

A: People with Asperger’s Syndrome often have characteristics that make social interactions particularly difficult. Social isolation can result from a lack of intuitive understanding of the rules of typical social behavior. Since many youngsters with Asperger’s can emit signs of fragile vulnerability and immaturity or tend to be a bit eccentric, they can become easy targets for bullies.

You can help your son learn skills other people know intuitively by helping him learn to read others’ facial expressions and physical gestures, as well as how to analyze social situations. The use of pictures that illustrate facial expressions and social situations as well as viewing and discussing interactions in films may prove to be valuable.

A great local resource is the Coachella Valley Autism Society of America. They help families become educated about Autism Spectrum Disorder, and can help you network with other parents and professionals who specialize in Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome (www. coachellavalleyautism.org). You should also contact the Inland Regional Center (www.inlandrc.org), which provides services and support to children and adults with developmental disabilities.

Question: My 13-year-old daughter has been struggling with her writing skills since third grade. Her teachers suggested that she wasn't applying herself. Since she's always earned Bs or higher in subjects that don't require as much writing, I'm convinced that there's something more going on with her besides a lack of effort. What do you recommend?

Answer: If your youngster is struggling with the writing process, it can be stressful and have a negative impact on her self-esteem.

As children transition from elementary school through college, they are gradually expected to express themselves more and more eloquently through their writings.

Furthermore, they are expected to write more quickly and efficiently within time constraints. This can be a huge problem for those who struggle with writing — and believe me, there are many individuals like your daughter struggling in silence.

Your daughter may have Dysgraphia, which is a learning disability in written expression. Selective tests are administered by a trained professional in order to make this diagnosis. If a writing disability is identified, your daughter should begin to receive appropriate interventions.

By identifying the problem now, teachers, parents and educational therapists will be able to teach and reinforce new skills that have been lacking for so long. There is a lot of help available, so have hope.

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Question: My daughter is in the 10th grade and does poorly on tests. She always studies very hard so she blames "test anxiety" for her poor test grades. What is test anxiety and how can I help her?

Question: My 9-year-old daughter has mild Down syndrome and is in regular classes at school. She does have some attention problems and needs help staying on task, but with direction, she does most everyday tasks by herself. Our biggest challenge is her not sleeping through the night. She doesn't have a problem falling asleep, but she wakes up, turns on lights, watches television, eats and tries to get in bed with us. We know she's not getting enough hours of solid sleep and that it's affecting her ability to learn at school.

Question: Soccer season begins soon in Palm Desert. My 10-year-old son has never wanted to play any organized sports because he is smaller than the other kids and feels inferior.

Question: I have often wondered if my high school senior has ADHD and is not meeting her potential due to her concentration problems. People have mentioned over the years that they think she may have ADHD. She always requires more time to finish tests and schoolwork. Should I undergo testing to confirm a diagnosis? How is what you offer different from what a therapist can do for me?

Question: My third-grade daughter does not enjoy reading, although she is a fair reader. Getting her to practice for pia no lessons is easy, but trying to get her to sit down and read a book is nearly impossible. I'm hoping that it's just her age. Should I be concerned?

Question: My husband lost his job six months ago and it has undoubtedly affected our family. My teenage son hangs around kids who are unmotivated, and I think he has picked up a negative attitude just from being around them.  I wouldn't call him depressed; he just sees everything with a glass half empty attitude.  Any suggestions?

Question: As a new first grade teacher, how can I get more parents involved and volunteering in the classroom?

Question: From the time my daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy 2 years ago, I’ve felt like her health care has steadily declined. When I take her to an appointment, she usually screams the entire time. The doctors are anxious to get us in and out of the office quickly, and don’t really give her their complete attention. When I voice a concern, they usually minimize it. I feel like her doctors aren’t listening to me. Any recommendations?

Question: As a parent, I have considered sending my child to a private school.  In your opinion which do you recommend?

Question: School starts in a week, and my son’s stuttering problem is getting worse. He’s entering junior high school, where he’ll have all new teachers. How should I approach his new teachers about his stuttering so they can help him? He has had speech therapy in the past, but stopped when the stuttering became less noticeable. Should he start speech again?

Question: Our 10-year-old daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and learning disabilities. She is taking medication. Her behavior has escalated to the point to which my husband and I fight all the time in front of her and even threaten divorce. What do you recommend?

QUESTION: We are concerned about our high school student who seems to be content with satisfactory performance. We know he is extremely intelligent but sometimes makes bad choices and has a lack of motivation. How can we help?

Question: My son passed his grade, but barely. How can I help him get caught up before the fall? I don't want him to forget what he learned! I would love it if he could even be a little bit ahead when he starts school in the fall.

Question: Is it OK for my 16-year-old daughter to stop taking her ADHD medication over the summer break?

Question: I would like to interact with more people in general, not only those who have disabilities. I'm looking for ways to socialize while being active at the same time. Have you found any local resources?

In order to highlight the growing need for concern and awareness about autism, Autism Society of America (ASA) has been celebrating National Autism Awareness Month since the 1970s. The United States recognizes April as a special opportunity for everyone to educate the public about autism and issues within the autism community. Here is an excerpt from a conversation I had this past week with Dr. Gina Davis, President of the Coachella Valley Autism Society (CVASA).

Question: What do you enjoy most about your son Austin, who was born with autism?

Question: My son's elementary school teacher used a sticker chart to work on improving his behavior at school. This chart worked very well at school and I'd like to try to implement one at home. How do I make one of these charts to encourage my son to do his chores?

Question: My child's psychiatrist said he can't continue prescribing my son's medication if I don't bring him in for his appointments. I am really angry at my doctor as we have no health insurance right now. My husband lost his health insurance when his job was eliminated two months ago.

Question: I received a private psychological educational evaluation for my sixth-grade child who has trouble in school. The psychologist said the testing showed processing problems, but her biggest concern was my son's working memory. I am still not quite sure what that means and how I can help him.

Question: My husband and I need your help. Over the past 6 months, our 7-year-old daughter has developed a fear of being in any room of our house by herself. Until this point, we would have described her as independent and self-confident. We can't figure out what has changed. We would appreciate any advice you can give.

Question: My 11−year−old daughter is a huge fan of Britney Spears. She constantly tries to copy her, especially when it comes to her appearance. How do I teach my daughter that this type of provocative attire is inappropriate for her age?

Question: My son wants me to help him with his homework every night. It takes us hours to finish it and it’s usually a battle. He’s in third grade. Should I talk his teacher about the workload? Should I be helping him do his homework? Sometimes I think I’m doing it for him.

While busily passing out flyers for our Parent Support Group (parents of children with special needs) earlier this week, I came across the office of the Family Health & Support Network, a Foster Family Agency in Palm Desert.

What I thought was going to be a prime spot for our flyers turned out to be much, much more. I met with the founder, Sandra Austin, and was so impressed with her passion and genuine concern for children and their welfare. I want to share some of what I learned and ask you to support them and their cause.

Question: My daughter is in the ninth grade and has always struggled with writing. She avoids assignments that involve writing and is usually the last student to finish writing assignments. She was recently tested and found to have dysgraphia (writing difficulties). Are you familiar with the Alpha Smart, and does it really help kids with writing problems?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Today, columnist Brent Cooper shares his own story, and invites other parents to participate in a new support group.

On Dec. 15, 2007 my wife, Shannon, and I had our first child, Charlie Jackson. He was six weeks premature. On top of Charlie’s dramatic entrance into this world, we learned that he had Spina Bifida; a birth defect that was undetected until that day.

Question: We are concerned about our high school student, who seems to be content with satisfactory performance. We know he is extremely intelligent but sometimes makes bad choices and has a lack of motivation. How can we help?

Question: My daughter is in the 10th grade and does poorly on tests. She always studies very hard so she blames "test anxiety" for her poor test grades. What is test anxiety and how can I help her?

Question: My daughter's teacher recommended that I have her tested for Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome or Meares Irlen Syndrome to help her with her vision problems and learning problems. I have done research on the Internet to learn about this and I'm not sure if the treatment for this syndrome is a scam or not. Do you know if children actually benefit from theses colored overlays prescribed?

Question: We have a child who will be starting second grade in a few weeks. Although our son is slower in grasping new concepts and acts much younger than the other kids in the class, we decided not to retain him. His teacher from last year suggested that we have him repeat first grade. What are your thoughts on retention?

Question: I am extremely concerned that my 14−year−old daughter is hanging around with girls who are a bad influence on her. Until recently, she has always been a happy person surrounded by a nice group of friends. I don't know why this has suddenly changed.

Question: I am going into the 10th grade, and I am really starting to stress about getting into a college. I am a straight "A" student, but I haven't participated in any extracurricular activities. My friends say that colleges don't just care about grades. How important is it for me to be involved in some extracurricular activities?

Question: I will be starting the 11th grade in September and I'm concerned that I am so disorganized. I have a hard time remembering what I'm supposed to do for homework each night, I don't turn assignments in on time, and my desk at home is always messy. My grades are slipping because of this and I want to do better next year. What can I do to become more organized?

Question: Reading is a very hard task for my 6th grade daughter and her teacher suggested that I get books on tape for her to listen to this summer. My husband believes books on tape are not the same as reading and they are considered "cheating." I'm confused, are books on tape really a form of cheating?

Question: My 11−year−old son has an extremely high IQ, but is receiving very low grades in school. I am confused because he does his homework and always studies. Why do you think such a bright child is having such a hard time with his academics?

Question: My child is having a lot of problems doing his math homework. It is a struggle each night to get him to sit down and complete it. How can I help him enjoy math and stop fighting me to do it?

Question: Lately, my child complains of stomachaches and says she doesn’t want to go to school. She says she doesn’t like her teacher because she’s mean. Help, I don’t know how to respond to this.

Question: My son’s kindergarten teacher said my son is having a difficult time identifying sight words. What are sight words and how can I help him at home?

Question: My daughter is in the third grade and has struggled with reading most of the school year. Although her reading skills have recently improved, she still does not like to sit down and read. I am concerned because I don’t want her to lose her reading skills now that summer is approaching. How can I encourage her to read over the summer?

Q: I am a stay at home mother with a very active 2-year-old boy who loves to play outside. With the summer heat almost here, I am trying to come up with ideas for activities to burn off his constant energy. Where can he play inside and interact with kids his age?

Q: My four-year-old only likes to play board games if he wins. When he loses, he throws a tantrum. I know if I always let him win I’m sending him the wrong message about winning and losing. What should I do?

Q: My daughter rarely eats breakfast in the morning because we are always rushing off to school or she says she’s not hungry. How important is it to eat breakfast in the morning, and is it really "brain food?"

Q: The California Standard Testing is approaching soon, and my third grader always gets nervous around this time of the year. How can I help my daughter prepare for these tests so she can feel more relaxed about them?

Q: My kids are 7 and 9 years old and I feel they watch too much television even though they both have a room full of toys. After they come home from school and do their homework, they say they would rather watch TV or a video instead of play with their toys and games. I don’t like to start a fight with them over this so I often give in and allow them their TV time. Do you have any suggestions of how I can draw their attention away from the TV and into other things?

Q: All that my son wants to do is play video games and watch television. How can I get my nine-year-old to read more?

Q: My husband and I need your help. Over the past 6 months, our 7-year-old daughter has developed a fear of being in any room of our house by herself. Until this point, we would have described her as independent and self-confident. We can’t figure out what has changed. We would appreciate any advice you can give.

Q: My 15-year-old daughter is an excellent athlete who plays on the golf team for her school. She is able to focus extremely well while playing golf, but is struggling to focus during exams. Do you have any suggestions?

Q: My 13-year-old daughter is a worrywart. She is always worried about her grades, the next test coming up or how her hair and skin look. She just seems so serious all the time. I am basically a happy person; is their any way I can help her become a happier teenager? She was a happy child, but since her twelfth birthday, her personality has become very pessimistic.

Q: My eleventh grade son attends Palm Springs High School. He is motivated and wants to go to college, but his grades are dropping because he doesn’t do well on tests. His teachers tell me that he completes and turns in his classwork and homework. The problem is when it’s test taking time. He says he blanks-out. I had the same problem when I was in school. I don’t want to see his attitude toward his education turn negative. Please help us before it is too late.

Q: My 11th grade son was tested by the school district for special education services in both the third and sixth grades but never qualified. I believe he has ADHD. He needs help in the classroom and extra time on the SATs. Are there any other options? What can we do to get him help?

Question: I have an 8−year−old daughter who has severe problems with constipation. This began around the time her father and I separated four months ago. My daughter tells me that she hates going to the bathroom because it hurts. I feel so bad and I’m not sure why this is happening to her. What do you recommend?

Question: My husband and I have just had a daughter who’s been diagnosed with Down syndrome. As new parents, we feel overwhelmed and even a little guilty. Can you give us any advice that might be helpful?

Q: My son is in the second grade and his teacher recently told me that he is having trouble with reading comprehension. I don’t understand why he isn’t remembering what he is reading, since he’s an excellent reader. Every week for homework he is given short stories to read, and questions to answer at the end of each one. It takes him so long to answer the questions, and he always needs my help. What can I do?

Q: I am having a difficult time trying to decide where I should send my daughter to kindergarten in the fall. I want her to go to a private school so she can get a good education while in a Christian environment. Do you believe the private schools are high-quality here in the desert, and are the spiritual and educational gains she’d make over attending a public school worth the financial commitment?

Q: My third grader struggles academically. I work with him constantly, am very involved at his school and help him with his homework. Teachers have commented that my son is unable to work independently in class and needs constant encouragement. How can I help him be successful without making him overly dependant on others in order to complete his work?

Q: My family came to the United States six years ago from Michoacan, Mexico. I have one daughter in the second grade and a son in sixth grade. I don’t involve myself in my children’s education for two reasons. First I am not comfortable speaking English and secondly, I don’t have time because I work all day. Usually the teachers don’t even speak Spanish, so I do not go to the conferences. How do I work with the schools?

Q: I find the information in your articles practical and informative for both parents and teachers. As a second grade teacher in the Moreno Valley, how can I get more parents of my students to participate in the children’s school life and in the classroom?

Q: My boys, (9 and 12) fight and argue constantly. The 12-year-old likes to show his dominance over my younger son. It’s a constant struggle with them to see who’s going to control the remote or who’s going to ride in the front seat, with me in between playing referee. I’m tired of all the bickering and turmoil in the house. What can I do?

Q: My son is in the fifth grade and has a Learning Disability in reading and writing. He goes to the resource room to get extra help with his schoolwork everyday. Recently he started calling himself dumb, and his teacher commented that he’s been unmotivated. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about himself so negatively. When I told him the other night how smart I think he is, he plugged both ears with pencils and said, “I can’t hear you.” Do you have any recommendations?

Q: Due to the recent teen suicides that occurred in Coachella Valley last school year, I want to take the opportunity to use today’s “Help My Kid” column to urge everyone to learn more about the warning signs of kids at risk.

Q: I spoke with you briefly about my husband’s battle with cancer and how it was affecting my son after your presentation at his school last year. Over the summer my husband passed away. My son was able to start forth grade last week, but I’m not sure how well he’s dealing with the loss of his father. He refuses to talk about it and spends a lot of time in his room.

Q: Everyone tells me that my children have ADHD. One child has trouble focusing while the other has more prominent behavior problems, yet they are almost opposite in their personalities. Is it possible that they both could have ADHD?

Q: I want to start a good relationship with my son’s teacher so he can have a better school experience this year than he did last year. Although he has some behavior challenges, I want his new teacher to see and focus on his strengths first, rather than his behavior challenges. When and how do you suggest I introduce myself to his teacher to discuss my son?

Q: My second grader gets so mad at her little brother when he touches her toys or goes in her room. Sometimes she calls him names and even bites him. How can I help her deal with her anger better?

Q: My daughter just turned seven and will be entering the first grade. She is very verbal and outgoing at home with her two sisters and close friends. At school she refuses to talk in the classroom, though she’s a chatterbox on the playground. This behavior started when she began pre-k. Her teachers said she’d grow out of it, but we’re concerned she may not. What can we do if this happens again this year?

Q: This summer has been a nightmare. My seven year old son has been in a horrible mood since school let out. He mopes and complains about having nothing to do. No matter what I suggest he says it’s boring. Can you help me?

Q: I’m an older parent of a very active 8-year-old boy. My wife is concerned that he may have a learning disability or attention problem. I think his behavior is normal and that he’ll grow out of it. How can we tell if his behavior and learning difficulties are out of the ordinary or normal for his age?

Q: My son is going away to college in August. I’m concerned that he won’t be as successful in college as he was in high school without anyone to encourage him to study and do his homework everyday. He got good grades in high school because I was there to help keep him on track. I also worry because my eldest son found himself on academic probation his first semester and eventually left the university because of his grades.

Q: My 18 year old just graduated from high school last month. However, my husband and I are realizing how little he has been taught about everyday money matters. What can we do to help him learn to manage his money wisely? It looks like he will probably be getting a job and working awhile before going on to college?

Q: I’m worried about my children’s weight and there activity level. I would like to keep them more active during the summer but I don’t always have time because of my hectic schedule. I work full-time and my kids are home alone a lot. Do you have any suggestions for keeping them active?

Q: My son is a very bright child with a learning disability. He’s in special classes at school and sees tutors several times a week. Even with the extra support, school is still a struggle for him. What else can we do to help him succeed?

Q: What can I do to help my children stay active socially and academically over the summer?

Q: Is it OK for my 16 year old daughter to stop taking her ADHD medication over the summer break?

Q: My marital problems with my husband have escalated around our daughter’s disruptive behavior at school. She’s 6-years-old and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. We are getting reports back from her teacher that she is not getting along with the other kids in class. My husband wants to issue a bunch of strict rules about her behavior, but I’m much more liberal in my parenting style and feel letting her have more liberties is a healthier approach. Can you offer any advice?

Q: My 8-year-old was recently diagnosed with epilepsy. From the time he began experiencing seizures his grades have progressively dropped. Recently after helping him study for a spelling test, I was confident he knew all the words, however when he took the test the next day he did poorly. Could this have something to do with his epilepsy?

Q: I was told last week by my daughter’s pediatrician that she really needs to lose weight. She’s always been heavy, but I never really thought it was a problem until now. She’s 10, and as she gets older she’s picked-on and called names at school more and more because of her weight. How can I help her lose weight and improve her health fast?

Q: I am concerned about my 13-year-old son. He was recently evaluated and diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, and really struggles socially. He isolates himself from other kids and sometimes gets bullied at school. How can I help him?

Q: My son’s elementary school is in the middle of taking the California State Test which measures how well he’s reaching the educational standards. He didn’t feel that he did as well as he could have on some of the tests he’s already completed. How can I help him feel more confident about taking the remainder of his exams and better prepare him to be successful on next year’s test?

Q: As young parents my husband and I are torn between giving in to my six-year-old daughter when she becomes overly demanding and standing our ground and doing what’s best for her. Sometimes it’s easier to just give her what she wants. We feel totally out of control when this happens, but she becomes a “little monster.” What should we do?

Q: My daughter is in the fourth grade and still doesn’t know her multiplication facts. Her teacher keeps telling her that she must have her facts memorized or else she’ll continue to have a hard time in math class, especially as they move into division. What is the best way to help my daughter memorize her multiplication facts?

Q: My high school daughter's cell phone was taken away for text messaging in class. She said all of her friends text message each other when the teacher isn’t looking, she just happened to get caught. Cell phones are permitted on campus, but must be turned off during class. The temptation to text message is always there, but part of growing into a responsible young adult is being allowed the freedom to make the right choices. As a parent, how can I monitor this situation so it doesn’t happen again without taking the privilege away completely?

Q: Due to the many positive comments and inquires regarding last week’s column pertaining to goals I would like to address this question from a parent with a similar challenge. She emailed, “How can I get my nine-year-old son to read more?”

Q: Hey Brent, you gave a motivational talk to my football team in the fall about thinking positively and using imagery to improve our offense. I applied those ideas to my tennis game, and it worked for awhile, but I’ve hit a wall. How can I continue moving up the ladder on my tennis team and improve my grades in my AP (Advanced Placement) classes? Do you have any other techniques that I could use to improve my game and grades?

Q: We have a child in the first grade. At our recent parent-teacher conference the teacher told us that our daughter may need to be retained next year because she is slow in grasping new concepts and acts much younger than the other kids in the class. Our older daughter had the same teacher three years ago, so we know she’s a good teacher, yet we’re reluctant to have our daughter held back a grade. We would appreciate your thoughts on retention.

Q: I am a parent of a child with mild autism who is 9-years-old. I have always felt that I must make demands to get the services my child needs. I have been clashing with schools since Pre-Kindergarten. We moved out here from Cleveland three months ago and I pray it will be easier to get everything he needs to be successful. Do you have any helpful advice before I go into battle with the school district?

Q: My grandson is a high school sophomore who just shuts-down whenever he has to take a test. It is very frustrating to me because I know he knows the material but he just gets so anxious during tests. He is not an anxious kid, just when he has to take a test. Please help.

Q: At my eight-year-old son’s parent-teacher conference, his teacher said that when he does not receive individual attention he seems unable to concentrate and is very impulsive. He’s very bright but his behavior and lack of focus is affecting his school work. He’s always been hyperactive but now it’s affecting his grades. I don’t want to put him on drugs, what can I do?

Q: Teachers and coaches have commented on our 10 and seven-year-old sons’ lack of self-confidence. They’re both average students and starting to lose interest in soccer. We constantly tell them how great they are, but it doesn’t seem to change anything.

Q: My 10-year-old never wants to do her homework. I have to force her to sit down and do it. If I don’t she wont start it until very late at night or won’t do it at all. Can you help make this situation better?

Q: My daughter can’t seem to remember what she’s learned one day to the next. If she learns something new in math or if she reads a story in her reading book today, she won’t remember it tomorrow. How can I help her remember what she’s learning?