Q: I spoke with you briefly about my husband’s battle with cancer and how it was affecting my son after your presentation at his school last year. Over the summer my husband passed away. My son was able to start forth grade last week, but I’m not sure how well he’s dealing with the loss of his father. He refuses to talk about it and spends a lot of time in his room.
A: It sounds like your son is experiencing signs of stress related to this monumental loss in your family. The death of a parent is the worst thing imaginable to a child; however the child who is supported through the grieving process can recover and enjoy life again. Research shows that children grieve as deeply, and go through the same basic grieving process as adults. Grief counseling and play therapy are good places to start when a young person experiences the loss of a family member or close friend. Carol A. Bayer, MFT in Rancho Mirage said, “When a child suffers the loss of a parent, their grief is most often expressed through their behavior and even their play. Death can cause children to worry about their own mortality. It is important to reassure the child that they will be taken care of and that they are safe.” Maintaining established routines will be comforting to your child during this time of confusion. With compassion, understanding and the passing of time, he can get through this difficult period.
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