Q: My second grader gets so mad at her little brother when he touches her toys or goes in her room. Sometimes she calls him names and even bites him. How can I help her deal with her anger better?
A: Many of us were raised to believe that expressing our anger was unacceptable behavior and we may have been punished for outbursts of anger our parents didn’t like. Today we know that providing kids with appropriate words and actions to process their feelings will help them better manage their anger and frustrations as teens and adults. When your daughter gets angry at her brother for touching her favorite toy, teach her the appropriate way to deal with her feelings, while setting clear expectations of what’s not OK. Statements like, “It’s OK to be angry, but I won’t let you hurt your brother,” will help her feel safe when she may be feeling out of control. Repair bad feelings as soon as possible. Your children want resolution after they’ve become angry with each other. Sometimes a little space and time does the trick. Often a simple “I’m sorry,” is all that’s needed.
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