Question: My husband and I need your help. Over the past 6 months, our 7-year-old daughter has developed a fear of being in any room of our house by herself. Until this point, we would have described her as independent and self-confident. We can't figure out what has changed. We would appreciate any advice you can give.
Answer: It is quite common for children to develop fears during this stage of development. As their congnitive abilities grow, so grows their abilities to imagine and turn "what ifs" into frightening scenarios. Parents can help them through these fears by pointing out reasons they have to feel safe. Kim Phillips, a marriage and family therapist in Rancho Mirage, said, "A lack of a sense of safety may also derive from changes in the child's life or environment or upcoming events that are unfamiliar to the child, conflict in the home environment, or bullying at school. Lack of structure in the home such as few rules and inconsistent schedules creates an environment that feels unstable and therefore unsafe to children." Finally, there may have been an event that caused a child to have fears of being alone in a room. Something may have actually happened. The best way to investigate this is to have your child evaluated by a therapist. Phillip specializes in working with children, knows how to develop a rapport with them, and can gain their trust. Safety is the issue, after all.
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