Q: My four-year-old only likes to play board games if he wins. When he loses, he throws a tantrum. I know if I always let him win I’m sending him the wrong message about winning and losing. What should I do?
A: You need to teach your son that sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. Although we want our children to feel they can be the best at something, we also need to help them develop the skill of losing. Even at an early age, parents need to teach their children how to handle disappointment. Young kids will often throw tantrums when they don’t win because they don’t have the verbal skills to express their frustration. Try to be reassuring and calm, and don’t get angry as that can escalate the situation. Teach your son to be a good sport by modeling good behavior. When you lose, let him know you’re okay with it, and when you win don’t get overly excited. Keep the games at an appropriate level suited for your child and make sure you follow the rules. Many children want to change the rules of a game so they can win, but fair play is an early and important lesson to be learned.
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