Q: My husband and I need your help. Over the past 6 months, our 7-year-old daughter has developed a fear of being in any room of our house by herself. Until this point, we would have described her as independent and self-confident. We can’t figure out what has changed. We would appreciate any advice you can give.
A: It is quite common for children to develop fears during this stage of development. As your daughter’s cognitive abilities (mental abilities like judgment, memory, learning, comprehension, and reasoning) grow, so does her ability to imagine and turn "what ifs" into frightening scenarios. You can help her through these fears by pointing out all the reasons she has to feel safe. Kim Phillips, Marriage and Family Therapist, in Rancho Mirage said, "A lack of a sense of safety may also derive from changes in the child’s life, environment or upcoming events that are unfamiliar. Conflict in the home environment or bullying at school can often affect one’s sense of security. A lack of structure at home, such as few rules and inconsistent schedules, can also create an environment that feels unstable and therefore unsafe to children." Finally, there may have been an event that caused your daughter to have fears of being alone. Something may have actually happened. The best way to investigate this is to talk to your child or have her evaluated by a therapist. Safety is the issue, after all.
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