Q: My 13-year-old daughter is a worrywart. She is always worried about her grades, the next test coming up or how her hair and skin look. She just seems so serious all the time. I am basically a happy person; is their any way I can help her become a happier teenager? She was a happy child, but since her twelfth birthday, her personality has become very pessimistic.
A: Teach your daughter that happiness is a choice one makes each day. I believe people are usually drawn to happy people, and those who act angry, negative and pessimistic generally push people away and lead unhappy lives. Happiness can be a result of personal achievements, good grades, attractiveness or popularity in school, but they are not the cause of happiness. These are all external matters and happiness is internal. Our society emphasizes what are called doing values. It is found that happy people are more concerned with being values, like contentment and appreciation (satisfaction with what one has) and a sense of wonder about life. Choosing happiness means that one chooses to see circumstances in a positive light. When an event occurs that seems disastrous, negative or unpleasant, teach her to habitually develop a "wait and see" attitude with a positive expectancy. This should immediately take the pressure off of her. Point out past events where an expected negative outcome was actually positive. Help your daughter change her inner dialogue to include optimism and a positive expectancy.
{{brentLink}}
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|